Strength of my heart: One year at C4
Happy Valentines Day!
Let this day be a reminder of the love that our faithful Father has for us. Not only does this day remind me of that, but this day is also they day I attended my home church for the first time. I LOVE my church now, but that wasn't the case when we first made the decision to switch churches..
He is calling
I remember the Sunday after God had started preparing my heart to move. As I sat in the service (of my first church) I felt disconnected. The church I had begun growing in for seven months, the church where God turned me to Him, the church that I knew the Holy Spirit was so present in, all of a sudden didn't feel like my home anymore. It was almost like God had removed His Holy Spirit from me that Sunday morning with a strong warning that spoke to me like this:
"If you stay here, you will not experience me the way I have intended you to, because you will not be obeying me and what I have for you."
The Lord had not taken away His presence from that church, but He took it away from me that morning as He was calling me elsewhere.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:11-12
We must pray and ask God for a willing spirit to go where he wants us to go. To do what He wants us to do. He calls us to where He wants us and we must be obedient or else we will never experience the abundance He has for our lives.
When He moves, you move
That day I prayed "Lord I want to be where you want us to be. Guide us to the church you want us at."
At this point I knew nothing. I didn't know where God was going to take us or what church we were to be at. Ladies this is why I encourage you to journal because as I look back on what I wrote on February 7, 2016 I can see the Lords guidance according to what I know now. This is what I wrote
"I started feeling like God was telling me that although this church is an amazing church, it's not the place that we can really flourish and grow the way God wants to grow us and bless us. That it's not the place that my husband can grow. I felt the feeling that we needed to go to a church that is becoming established so we can grow with the church and be involved."
We finally were suggested two church's. We were originally planning on visiting both, so that night I prayed and asked God which church He wanted us to visit first. As I prayed, He gave me a picture of Corvallis foursquare in my head.
Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 (NLT)
His ways are better
A week later on February 14, 2016 I remember walking into our church building and being shocked at how small the congregation was. We had come from a larger church so the size was really new to me.
As service started, I remember being shut off. Worship was my favorite part, but I was out of my comfort zone and have I mentioned I don't handle change with much grace. Before church I had prayed for God to speak to my husband and to make it known if this was the church where He wanted us, So when I wasn't feeling it during worship I started wrestling with God and basically telling Him, and demanding a sign (sorry Lord), "God you better speak through this pastor, you better come through."
As I finished my demanding prayer, our pastor walked up and the first thing he said was meant for my husband. And the message that followed was for my husband as if our pastor was speaking right to him. That day God prepared that message for us. Our pastor even said stuff that I had been praying for my husband.
I remember breaking down inside as I repented for doubting God with my demanding prayer. I thanked and thanked Him that entire service for coming through that day.
Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O Lord, have helped me and comforted me. Psalm 86:17
Walking through the valley
The first two months at our church were two very hard months for me. I was still fairly new in my walk with the Lord and these months were the second "valley season" I faced. Everything about this church seemed so perfect for my husband. I had only moved out of complete sacrifice and obedience, and I allowed myself to draw back from God and I let bitterness enter my heart. I allowed my heart to be closed off. My fears started coming back and I didn't know how to let Him in again.
The deeper issue behind this, was that I had felt God had abandoned His purpose for me. I had truly felt that the other church was for me, but we were at Corvallis foursquare so God could grow my husband. But that was so far from the truth.
It wasn't until April that I finally came out of that mini season. God revealed to me that not only does He have something amazing for my husband, but He has something for me too.
It is so important to know the truth of His word. God will never abandon the works of His hands and He will ALWAYS finish the good work that He has begun in you.
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138:8
It has been a year since we first attended the service at Corvallis Foursquare and God has been so faithful. This church has been an amazing family to us and now I love the fact that it is small and we can be close with everyone.
Prayer of encouragement during times of trouble
Thank you lord for you comfort and support. Thank you for drawing near to me as long as I draw near to you. I don't want to be dry I want to be filled Lord. Holy spirit fill me up. I don't want to step back, but move forward and grow in your grace. Adjust my foot Lord, correct my steps, I need you. You are faithful Lord and during the famine I will continue to call upon your name. Don't allow me to close my heart off, Lord strengthen me. Holy spirit be near to me and fill me where ever I may be. I need you. Thank you for your faithfulness and for your unconditional love even when I do not deserve it. In Jesus name. Amen
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
Allow God to be the strength of your heart. He will not fail you!